Dreary Weather

It's a busy month with my birthday and various holidays, though to be honest, we don't celebrate anything but Christmas and this year, it's only a small Christmas Eve party. So, I guess I'm just making excuses. That's what I was thinking about, though. People get so stressed out around this time of year and say "It's the holidays!" but that's the opposite of the point of these celebrations, isn't it?

One of my most vivid holiday memories when I was younger was finishing Christmas shopping with my brother. My mother would give me a hundred dollars and him fifty and we'd wander around the mall getting stuff for our immediate family and usually have enough left over for lunch. We would see what we were buying each other right there so it wasn't really a surprise and we'd just open up whatever we had while waiting for a ride home. This guy walked past us as we opened our respective action figure and stage whispered something to the effect of "buying toys and it's almost Christmas" disdainfully. Even though it was probably at least fifteen years ago, I think about this every year.

For the first few times I thought about it, I thought the guy was a jerk. He had no idea what the circumstances were. The toys we bought for each other were discount ninja turtle action figures that were the cheapest thing we purchased, including lunch. It could have been a birthday or any other reason. Still, that guy thought he knew what was up and it was time to school these stupid kids. Then, as I got older, I thought I got what the guy was on about. I started to hate seeing younger people happy, too.

 As adults, we see the world through filter that we build up through years of experiences both positive and negative. He could have been embarrassed by what he saw as greed, though it could also be attributed to childish exuberance. Was he also shocked that these children had the audacity to break the tradition that so many others observed? He couldn't understand why we didn't wait for an hour to get home, then wrap up our presents, then wait for another two weeks to open them? To us, as kids, it didn't make any sense to wait for a surprise that wasn't going to shock us but as an adult, you build up this idea that that's part of the fun, even if it's completely pointless. I still don't really understand this. Is it better to give someone something they have to unwrap or just give them the present?

After some more thought, it upsets me. For the same reason that parents can drag their screaming kids through a store, threaten to break their limbs if they keep crying then yell and curse at a cashier when their item isn't on sale like it was a week ago and we can just write it off as "holiday stress" instead of calling the person a sociopath, we should have waited the allotted time to open our presents. Tradition! I think the holidays are stressful when you let them be.So, returning to my old buddy, perhaps he was already stressed and angry and all he saw was a couple of little snots completely not understanding the purpose of Christmas.

I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels again. This is one of those things that stuck in my head for so long and I realized that now is a good time to get it out. At my worst times, I think I am greedy, shallow and materialistic. Sometimes I think that guy, with his thinly-veiled disgust, was absolutely right in his judgement. The fact that I still obsess about it for so long makes me think I'm also incredibly self-centered. Yet, in thinking about this for so long, I've slowly realized that that's what separates a young adult from an adult. A young adult can sometimes recognize their faults but tries to justify and rationalize them. An adult recognizes their problems and attempts to change or accepts them.

Because I can never just say "Okay, that's enough thinking" I also realize that just wanting to change something doesn't mean it's going to change. I hope to be more positive in the future but I can't say that I will. I guess all I can do is say I'd like to change. In the spirit of kindness that should pervade this season and yet seems so rare, I hope to be kinder. In light of the coming new year, I resolve to be nicer. I want to be the kind of person that I'd like to be friends with. The interesting part is seeing how well any kind of decision like this holds up in a month or six or twelve. I'll keep you updated.

Guy's Night Movie Time Review: Monster Brawl

A couple months ago, I started this blog with a clear-eyed intention to become a better writer and to inspire others to start writing, too. Unfortunately, as I stumbled through October's blog-a-day experiment, I think things became muddled and the reason I started writing in a blog again was lost. Every night, I sit in front of a laptop in the living room or the other laptop in the spare room and think "Tonight's the night." There is no inspiration, though, beyond wanting to vent negative emotions and so I usually end up killing some zombies or browsing random forums. Then I started browsing Netflix...

Today, after watching the worst movie I've ever seen,Monster Brawl, I wondered if zombies would bother attacking Frankenstein's monster at all, since he's made of dead parts. Also, I wondered how a movie could have a pretty good idea and then just execute it so poorly. I feel like this is a movie that someone was really serious about but halfway through, they realized it was not going to turn out how they wanted so they tried to make it "so bad it's good" and failed there, too. The most obnoxious part of this movie was that, for no reason whatsoever beyond the director probably playing a lot of Mortal Kombat, there is an announcer voice that randomly throws out "Magnificent" and "Great Combo" during the fights. I guess another explanation might be that the director saw Scott Pilgrim and thought you could just add anything you want and it will make sense.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that Scott Pilgrim vs. the World really didn't make sense but there was some sort of suspension of disbelief that the movie cultivated so that a person exploding into coins after being beat up didn't really seem that weird and the announcer voice and "Round 1" titles that popped up weren't out of place. Meanwhile, this movie about "classic" monsters battling in a wrestling ring just doesn't seem to bother with any sort of logic. There's a referee for all of half a match and he is quickly murdered and never replaced. Jimmy Hart, who played himself in this, comments "Well, you don't really need a referee" and that is that. That's only one example but my head hurts too much to provide more.

This is the kind of movie that isn't even enjoyable to make fun of. It's just bad and if anyone else was at the house while I was watching it, I'd probably be embarrassed. Luckily, it was guy's night, whoooo!...which means I was home alone. So, now that I've written something , I feel better and guy's night continues! Whooo! I'm gonna go do some dishes and eat left over chicken! GUY'S NIGHTTTTT!!!