About Last Night

I just wanted to check in and say that I don't usually get as cheesy as I got yesterday. I write just a little bit before going to sleep and I'm usually in a hazy mode where I am not entirely focused but I'm just kind of letting the thoughts that have been bouncing around my head splash all over the place. Apparently, I wrote what I wrote yesterday because that's what I needed to read today. I feel like I was more productive and in a better mood than I have been for a long time after reading through all of that and reflecting on the idea behind what I was trying to say.

A long time ago, my aunt lent me "The Four Agreements", which was some general self-help advice wadded up with some very New Age-y black and white magic stuff. However, I really did like it and I took what I could from it. These basic thoughts (which stuck with me so well that I just had to Google them) were as follows: be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best. In other words, don't be sarcastic, don't be self-centered, don't be a know-it-all and don't be lazy! I am oversimplifying but I'm doing my best to do that so I'm living by these rules!

It's such a strange balance. As a kid, you fulfill most of these without anyone telling you to do it. Kids are notorious for being brutally honest. They are always saying the darndest things, if history taught me anything. When a kid wants something, they can also be incredibly difficult to dissuade. Nevertheless, it is the adult who sees beyond what they need and realizes that other people exist, too. It's not until you really start making sacrifices for others that you can really consider yourself an adult, even if it's as simple as "I'm going to shower often enough that people aren't completely grossed out when I enter a room". Kids are gross. Then there's that one trait that belongs to no age group, that can not be taught. Just because you know something, doesn't mean you know everything. Likewise, just because you don't know everything doesn't mean you know nothing.

Knowledge is a fascinating resource: the more you gain of it, the less you seem to have because you realize just how deep and profound the world, the universe and existence in general is. No one can know everything and it's usually the people who know the least that will tell you they have all the answers.

That was a huge digression from the point at hand, which was that I didn't actually intend to engage in so much self-congratulatory navel-gazing but I did it, mostly because I like to use hyphens. That's not true. I actually hate hyphens. That's a lie, too. I love all punctuation equally. I guess it's like I was saying earlier, I have a lot of stuff built up in my head and I'm letting it out, bit by bit. I usually have a goal in mind when I start writing but then it twists and turns and I end up in a place I didn't really expect 90% of the time. It's similar to blacking out and then waking up in a ditch with no pants...wait, no, it's not that bad. It's like blacking out in your living room and waking up in bed but you're dressed as Batman. It's a little bit surprising but it's also convenient and even if it is weird, it's pretty cool.